i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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