He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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