I love black thongs
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I touched a dick in church today
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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