but the lizard people decide everything anyway
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I have already put on my inside pants.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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