awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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