remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
