you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize