Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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