like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize