remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
