you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
