Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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