my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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