There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
