I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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