arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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