Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
