no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
