IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
