Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just made out with a guy for $7.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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