just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Fuck appropriateness.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
