I want to make a zoo with you.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
