if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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