piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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