Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
