ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We have started to decorate penises.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
