Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
