Nicole vs. Life
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
