just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
