why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
When are your genitals available?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
