We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
