I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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