I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize