dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
handjob tips. give me some.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
