We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
