a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
