I feel like I'm in dance class right now
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
