no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
