So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
