And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
