i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
