I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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