I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
