Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
