i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
