My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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