Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
