she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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