I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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