happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have tasted many bathrooms
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
