New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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