Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She told me I should be a condom model.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
