I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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