hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
