I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
