he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
