the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
