yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
